Ethical Will | So, What’s Your Story?
Ever since I can remember, my dad told great stories. He had tales about his family, the history of our town and county, and about his youth. One day he sat down and wrote all these down for us, plus some stories he had never told us. What a gift! Now that he has died, we still have these stories in his own words, and it’s like a little part of him is still here.
My dad also wrote an autobiography for us, and assisted my mother in writing hers. Included in these life stories is what we know now as an Ethical Will. Simply put, an Ethical Will is a brief message, often in letter form, that summarizes for your family and friends your beliefs, guiding life principles, values, hopes, and favorite memories.
People often think that nobody would be interested in knowing all this about them, and they are usually very wrong! If you were to ask your children if they’d like you to write your life story so they’d have it after you’re gone, you might not get much of an answer. No child likes to anticipate the loss of a parent, and your mentioning this might make it a little too real for them.
But so often we hear these laments from those whose parents have died:
- “I wish I knew more about my Mom’s family.”
- “I remember a story Dad used to tell about Uncle Fred, but I can’t recall the details. I wish Dad were here so I could ask him.”
- “Mom used to tell us about her life before she met Dad. I’d love to hear that story again.”
You get the idea.
Writing your autobiography might seem like a huge project, and for some people it is. So let’s talk about starting with something a little easier. The Ethical Will is a great choice.
There are some helpful books out there to assist you with getting started in writing an Ethical Will, and you will find them at the bottom of this page.
Once you’ve written your Ethical Will, you might want to begin your autobiography. Remember, this is as much for you as it is for your family and friends, but it will be a precious gift from you to them.
So, how do you get started? How do you recount five, six, seven, or more decades of living? You take the first step, and then the next step!
First of all, consider how you would be most comfortable doing this project. Do you like to write by hand, or use the computer? Then that’s the way to go. Are you more comfortable just talking? You might want to record your remembrances and have copies made of the recording. You can even have recordings transcribed so that there is both a written and oral history. Professionals will even “interview” you and record the interview, editing out the bloopers and providing you with as many copies as you need.
If you’re handy working with photos on the computer, you might want to create a slide show which could combine pictures, music, and your voice.
Here are some of my top picks for books on creating your ethical will:
